I Hate
by feryvancy
Summary: Pretty much exactly what it sounds like. Rated M just to be completely safe.


AN: So I was reading _I Hate Everything_ by Matthew DiBenedetti, and all I could think was _Ccccrrrraaaaiiiigggg_. And so this was born. You probably shouldn't even bother reading this, unless you're bored. It's a light piece, no angst whatsoever. Pretty much. Unless you take this shit personally and/or start analyzing the hell out of it. Which you're free to do, if you feel so inclined.

… …

I hate stupid people.

I hate when people have their moral stick shoved so far up their ass they can't help but spew it out their mouths.

I hate religion.

I hate how saying _I hate religion _isn't quite accurate.

I hate the reason religion exists.

I hate that I can't blame them for creating religion.

I hate people who change the meaning of religion.

I hate that people keep trying to change the reason.

I hate that it's pretty damn hard to either prove or disprove religious (being a Deist is much easier.)

I hate small and fuzzy animals, not matter how cute, because they always shit everywhere, and after that stage they aren't cute anymore.

I hate that I'm shallow enough for that to matter.

I hate family obligations.

I hate how my family always expects me to feel obligated to them.

I hate how anyone thinks anyone is obligated to anyone.

I hate how heavy the word _obligation_ is.

I hate how much the word _obligation_ pisses me off. Same goes with destiny and anything related to the sort.

I hate how you always have to be obligated to people you love.

I hate how one forth of Americans are retarded.

I hate how it's not all Americans.

I hate how it's impossible to get away from stupid people.

I hate how easy it is to hate people.

I hate that not all people deserve being hated.

I hate how _most_ people don't deserve being hated.

I hate how I still do.

I hate mornings.

I hate it when my curtains aren't closed all the way and when I wake up the sun burns a hole or two through my retinas.

I hate that I quite literally can't convince myself to crawl out of bed until Tweek starts screaming about the damn [insert morning stress here.]

I hate how I can't hate Tweek, because he's really damn annoying.

I hate how much I don't hate Tweek, sometimes- most of the time it's pretty cool.

I hate romance.

I hate Tweek's starry-eyes romancing stares.

I hate my inability to not to go along with that look.

I hate stupid beards.

I hate cats.

And dogs.

Not guinea pigs.

I hate Peru.

I hate Tweek's friends. They're all annoying. And I can't sleep with any of them.

I hate that sometimes the only way I can think to shut Pip up is to shove my dick in his mouth.

I hate that my reasoning not to has no moral base.

I hate that the first thing that pops into my mind is _Damien would kill me._

I hate Tweek's devastated face that pops up next.

I hate that my spank bank is quickly diminishing due to that imaginary face.

I hate Clyde's put-on voice he uses to sound smart.

I hate that it sounds just like my voice.

I hate never being able to tell if I'm being an asshole or a douche bag, of which there is a massive difference.

I hate my sucky car.

I hate my sucky room that I'm forced to keep bland because of my freaking parents.

I hate that the best thing in it is Tweek.

I hate how he never breaks in often enough.

I hate bad jokes.

I hate the fake laugh people use after a bad joke is told.

I hate when people think being crude is the same as being funny and/or cool.

I hate when swearing is immediately categorized as being crude. Pull your head out of your ass. Everyone swears. Excessively. Even Tweek. People who don't… I don't get it.

I hate when people try to understand the world.

I hate when people don't try to understand the world.

I hate that the world isn't common knowledge.

I hate how boring life is.

I hate how hard it is.

I hate it when people talk about how hard it is.

I hate it when people act like life isn't hard.

I hate the phrase _life sucks_, it's completely unhelpful.

I hate people who are miserable all the time, and complain about it.

I hate people who are happy all the time.

I hate people with no sense of humor.

I hate stupid people.

I hate drama.

I hate that people can never just _let it go_.

I hate being pissed at people.

I hate living in South Park.

I hate it when girls think they're better than boys.

I hate it when boys think they're better than girls.

I hate it when anyone thinks they're anything but shit- not the cool kind either.

I hate that people think it's a bad thing to be shit.

I hate anyone who doesn't know that pretty much everyone is one part shit.

I hate that because males are bigger pervs, no one acknowledges the female pervs of the world, of which there are many.

I hate that being a slut is a bad thing.

I hate that it's only a bad thing if you're a girl.

I hate that males get all these free passes.

I hate that because of these free passes girls are pissed at us and think we're all a bunch of sex-obsessed idiots.

I hate that it's pretty much true, but so are they.

I hate that most social issues involving sex and sexism are put upon by ourselves.

I hate that so many girls are so _mean._

I hate when people call Tweek a girl because there are several obvious differences that don't stop at his dick.

I hate it when people try to understand Tweek.

I hate the ignorantly angry looks he gets.

I hate the pitying ones more.

I hate how shy those looks make him.

I hate how nervous he gets.

I hate that he hates my hate lists.

I hate it when people act like it's unnatural to hate.

I hate when hate is taken too seriously.

I hate when it's not taken seriously enough.

I hate the amount of oxymorons that are involved in my hate.

I hate when things are overanalyzed.

I hate it when my English teachers make us analyze the ever-loving shit out of everything.

I hate that they think that authors honestly, consciously try to put that many fucking metaphors into their work.

I hate that they don't get that you take what you take from books.

I hate the shitty books they make us read.

I hate that not all books are shitty, just the ones we read in class.

I hate that old instantly translates into good in the eyes of literature.

I hate that I've honestly never read any of the books said teachers have us read, so I can't really pass judgment on them.

I hate tacos.

I hate pie.

I hate completely planned out "randomness."

I hate it when people try too hard.

I hate it when people don't try at all, and then bitch about how the world isn't falling into their laps.

I hate that Tweek never stands up for himself.

I hate coffee.

I hate coffee mostly because Tweek doesn't drink coffee anymore because I say I hate it.

I hate sneaking out for midnight coffee runs.

I hate how sick coffee made Tweek.

I hate manipulation.

I hate hard video games.

I hate having to pause hard video games every five seconds to look at Cheatcc after having died fifty fucking times.

I hate having a certain amount of lives in video games.

I hate repitition in video games (yes, _you_, The Legend of Zelda: The Phantom Hourglass. Fuck you and your fucking Temple of the fucking Ocean King. FUCK YOU UP YOUR NONLUBED ASS!)

I hate how bad Tweek owns my ass at video games.

I hate having to remind people that I don't actually mind because it makes him happy.

I hate noise.

I hate screaming.

I hate my inability to handle kids- they freak me out.

I hate arguing with Tweek, especially when he's right.

I hate that I'm the only person that Tweek argues with.

I hate that our friends always get this worried look when we argue, because we do it a lot.

I hate that they forget that for us, arguing is the same discussing.

I hate that they forget we very much like to debate.

I hate not being able to argue with them because they take it personally.

I hate that it's impossible to argue with them because they're completely devoted to their views are refuse to change their minds about anything.

I hate other people's stubbornness- it clashes with my own.

I hate sounding like a hypocrite.

I hate hypocrites who act like they don't _know_ they're completely full of themselves.

I hate it when they honestly don't.

I hate people who think they always have the right answer.

I hate people who think they always have the wrong answer.

I hate Mondays.

I hate PDAs.

I hate being one half of those obnoxious PDA couples.

I hate when people glare at us

I hate when people _aw_ at us.

I hate how mad they look when I flip them off. They shouldn't have been lurking.

I hate it being impossible _not_ to get into being an obnoxious PDA couple when it's Tweek, because he always needs comforting and it's hard _not_ to shove your tongue down his throat when you know perfectly well that's what calms him down best.

I hate how people assume just because I hate a lot of shit that I'm miserable.

I hate how teachers very rarely respect students.

I hate how too many students don't deserve respect and still want it.

I hate how it's impossible to avoid these students unless you're in honors, in which there's more work.

I hate how it's _still_ impossible to completely avoid those fuckers.

I hate smart stupid people.

I hate stupid smart people.

I hate the color red.

I hate it when my sister asks for money.

I hate that saying no can make you a bad person.

I hate that people don't understand that saying no doesn't always make the other person selfish.

I hate that they don't understand that being mad at them sometimes makes _you_ the selfish one.

I hate how much easier it is to make sweeping generalizations than it is to say _some_ or This Group.

I hate that nearly all knowledge is, for the most part, completely useless unless you're playing Trivial Pursuit.

I hate hearing people say stupid shit.

I hate how correcting them can make me a douche.

I hate how people don't know that ho is spelled H-O. A hoe is a garden tool.

I hate that whenever someone flirts with me, Tweek always thinks I enjoy it. No matter how cute his jealousy is, there's nothing cool about him crying about me leaving him.

I hate that there's so much fucking bullshit to hate in this world.

I hate that there's plenty to love, too, but the things to hate will always outnumber those.

I hate that Tweek has a point when he says that actively looking for things to hate makes things worse.

I hate that stating the things you hate feels _so_ good.

… …

AN 2.0: And… done. _Waste of time?_ Probably. _Fun to write?_ Indeed.


End file.
